QA Blink of an Eye
Many of you are, to say the least, disappointed in the results of last week’s election. You have gone through a range of emotions including: anger, sadness, despair, depression, hopelessness, desperation, despondency, gloom, misery, sorrow and more, some sequentially, others simultaneously.
There are two basic responses for the disillusioned: one is to emulate the ostrich, burying your head in the sand, cancelling your newspaper subscriptions, swearing off TV news and political talkshows and watching a myriad of Hallmark Christmas movies comforted that the girl will always end up with the right guy on Christmas Eve. Others will remain geared for the fight, booking their Amtrak tickets to DC for the inevitable Women’s March, tithing a portion of their paychecks to the ACLU and Planned Parenthood, donning their “Gretchen Whitmer for President” buttons and making signs supporting LGTBQ+ rights.
There is, however, a third approach. You can think about a life style change that can divert you for the next four years without the wear and tear of the daily Trumpian drama of mass deportations, tax relief for the ultra-rich and the bumper stickers reading: “Honk If You Are Carrying Elon Musk’s Baby.” There are innumerable options, but here are some of the most popular.
Move to Canada
Originally made trendy by many who remained loyal to King George III during the Revolution and revitalized by Vietnam draft dodgers in the ’60s, Canada is almost like the United States except for a strange and unyielding allegiance to the British Royal Family and that their greatest poet is Robert W. Service, who wrote The Cremation of Sam McGee.
Advantages: They speak English (except where they don’t), have Major League Baseball (in Toronto) and Universal Health Care.
Disadvantages: It’s damn cold, their currency is nicknamed the “Loonie,” and you will have to learn French if you take a wrong turn to Quebec.
Decamp to a Desert Island
Channel your inner Robinson Crusoe and relocate to a Pacific island where you are the only inhabitant. Just think, no more social media, stupid Netflix shows or human interaction. You can maintain a healthy diet consisting of coconuts, washed down by coconut milk, and more coconuts. Bye bye, diabetes.
Advantages: No more nosy neighbors.
Disadvantages: Sharks.
Move to a Cave
If it was good enough for our predecessors, why not for you? No more fussing about what to wear to work and you can hunt for the ultimate carnivore diet, cooked over an open fire. Return to your early childhood impulses by sketching primitive creatures on the wall to be discovered centuries from now by anthropologists who will ponder why the hell anyone would live such a life in the twenty-first century.
Advantages: Protection from cancer-causing ultraviolet rays.
Disadvantages: Bats.
Join A Trappist Monastery
Tired of your co-workers gloating over the MAGA takeover? Your golf game still sucks after $50,000 worth of lessons? Join a religious order where silence is not only a virtue but a daily practice. Although it is a common misperception that monks typically take an actual vow of silence, there are designated times where silence is required, in order to contemplate God and the needs of others, and to avoid vulgar talk and gossip.
Advantages: Learn to bake bread and brew beer.
Disadvantages: You kinda have to believe in God.
Trek in the Himalayas
Just think, you can rise above the rest of mankind by scaling the highest peaks in the world in Nepal and Bhutan. The years will speed by as you ascend Everest and K2, accompanied only by your local Sherpa. Test the outer limits of human endurance. Wear cool gear from Patagonia and set up camp where the wind chill nears -100 degrees, and you will never hear the name Marjorie Taylor Greene.
Advantages: Tackling nature’s ultimate challenges.
Disadvantages: Dying because of nature’s ultimate challenges.
Although there are many other options to deal with your current state of mind, these are among the best time-tested choices. Tired of the imminent demise of democracy, climate related threats to our very existence and endless wars? Just get away for a while. Or you could wait for interplanetary travel. But if you hope to get to Mars, please take Elon Musk with you. For good.
