There once was a Kingdom, a very powerful Kingdom, that stood for certain Ideals and, despite many shortcomings, tried to do Good. Yes, it had invaded foreign lands under false pretenses and never quite overcame the stain on its soul that was the enslavement of Persons of Color who were regarded as less than human for the Kingdom’s economic gain. But, on its best days, the Kingdom tried to right its past wrongs and give everyone a fair shake. Its Citizens had the right to disagree and to follow their beliefs with a certain amount of respect for Others, if not exactly agreement.
Eventually, a new King, Donal the Orange, arose from a place ironically called Queens, since he spewed venomous words about women and bragged about his propensity to “grab them by the p***y.” He spoke harshly about those who had skin tones darker than the average Hamptons tan and promised to build Walls to keep them out, except, of course, for those he needed to maintain his numerous jousting arenas.
And a vast swarm of the Kingdom pledged allegiance to the King, who promised to fight for them, but instead rewarded the rich with lower marginal tithing rates and armed the Kingdom with new and larger weapons to protect it from the Other. Of course the King surrounded himself with like-minded enablers, including the Miller’s Son, who disdained Persons of Color and fostered the use of cages to separate parents from their children, and the Barrister, who thought Justice was an Ideal that only protected the King. There was also the King’s loyal counselor, Rudy the Jester, who slandered the King’s foes and dug up more dirt than the Village Undertaker.
Donal was also supported by his loyal family, including the Evil Princess, a slinky Shiksa in stilettos, and her husband, Jay the Privileged, sporting a fancy scroll from the finest university in the Land, purchased by his Felonious Father. Then there were the sons, the Great White Hunter and Eric the Idiot, and the Queen herself, Malevolence, who ascended to the Throne when her two predecessors were banished by the King, but who secretly disdained the King and exiled him from her chambers.
Well the Kingdom’s economy boomed, aided by the lower level of tithings and the advancement of policies that scorched the planet and continued to unearth the remains of the dinosaurs to fuel the future. All was well in the Kingdom, at least for the King’s followers, and the King readily expected to prevail in the coming referendum that would perpetuate his reign.
But then along came a vicious Plague that devastated the Kingdom. The King blamed the Land of the Yellow People and assured the Citizens it would disappear “like magic.” He demeaned the experts and ignored his advisers, including Anthony the Healer, and told the Citizens that they had nothing to fear, and that they should shed their face shields and lead the Kingdom back to prosperity. But millions suffered and hundreds of thousands perished, and jobs vanished. And the King himself caught the Plague, but received the medical care that millions lacked, and was soon his orange-faced self.
Persons of Color inconveniently kept getting shot by the King’s Blue Force, and many rose in the streets to protest Injustice. But the King’s minions responded in kind, armed with their Long Guns and their vicious chants. Violence was in the air, and Persons of Color Lives Matter became a rallying cry.
Then along came Joe the Not So Young, emerging from his basement atop his creaky horse, Democracy, urging him on with the inspirational battle slogan “C’mon, Man.” And so, the Citizens were aroused, and went to the polling troughs in record numbers and rid the land of the Orange One. At his side was the new Assistant King, RambleOn, leading both women and Persons of Color to new heights.
But Donal droned on, and didn’t accept defeat. He brought baseless claims of a fix before his hand-picked tribunals. His followers, including Match the Magician, remained silent, but the Kingdom moved on. And as the King’s rants lingered, the Citizens realized that the King’s words were nothing more than “a tale, told by an idiot, signifying nothing.”