All the News That Matters
Well, the election is over (for most of us anyway), the near miraculous development of a variety of Covid vaccines puts us in view of the end of the pandemic (except if you live in Texas or attended the CPAC convention) and Tom Brady has won another Super Bowl. At last we can start to focus on the news that we really care about without all those other distractions. So here are just a few of the current stories that are on everyone’s minds.
Meghan Markle: Bully or Bullied?
On Sunday, Oprah’s much anticipated interview with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex will at last reveal (or tell one side of the story, anyway) whether Meghan was the spoiled bitch who brutalized the Palace staff or the poor little rich girl who was the latest victim of a callous monarchy that is incapable of accepting an outsider who might just put some needed luster on the dour image of “the Firm.” Look for Rihanna to play Meghan in Season 11 of The Crown.
#Free Britney
Did someone say “conservatorship?” We are long past the days when merely shaving your head raised questions about your sanity. Can Britney finally shed herself of her dictatorial father’s control of her life? And can Rolling Stone Magazine again become relevant enough that it can atone for its shameful 1999 invasion of a teenage girl’s bedroom?
Kim and Kanye: On the Rocks
It appears that Kim Kardashian West and her husband Kanye are finally calling it quits. Different political views, disagreements over raising the kids and the small matter of Kanye’s severe bipolar disorder finally did them in. However, Kanye’s presidential aspirations may not be over and Kim, inspired by the groundbreaking firsts of Kamala Harris’ Vice Presidency, might just want to become the first First Lady of Armenian extraction.
Andrew Cuomo: What Would His Mother Matilda Say?
The imperious New York governor was flying high when he actually seemed to be a leader during the early days of the pandemic, and his afternoon briefings were must watch TV. But a slight distortion of the body count has besmirched that image, and his clumsy come-ons to female aides showed that he is just another dirty old man. While the accusations make him a piker in comparison to Donald Trump’s transgressions against women, it is time for him to go, or at least decline to run for reelection, and perhaps open up a garage in Queens to work on his beloved muscle cars.
Lori Loughlin Quits the Joint
The star of the popular 80s-90s sitcom Full House has announced a remake of that show updated to chronicle the two months she spent in prison for her role in faking her daughters’ credentials to gain admittance to USC. The new show, In the House, will demonstrate Loughlin’s newly developed skills working in the prison laundry and learning that an iron can be used for more than straightening your tresses. Her daughters, Isabella Rose and Olivia Jade, meanwhile, have given up their lucrative careers as influencers and are rumored to have taken up rowing.
Well, that’s all the news for now. And, let’s face it, this is more interesting than whether the latest stimulus bill gets passed or the far right tries another (ho hum) violent coup. Next month, we will have full coverage of Paris Hilton: Not Just Your Average Podcaster. Stay tuned.
