And the Winner Is….
Tonight will be the first “Covid Oscars,” celebrating a year in film like no other. With theaters mostly shuttered and even celebrated landmarks closing permanently due to the pandemic, it would be a stretch to call the works we are celebrating “movies,” since we almost exclusively watched them through some sort of streaming media, a phenomena that makes Norma Desmond’s famous line in Sunset Boulevard: “I am big, it’s the pictures that got small,” seem, in retrospect, remarkably prophetic. But the big question overhanging the muted presentations we will witness tonight is: will our relationship with Hollywood ever be the same?
Of course many Oscar viewers tune in just to see the stars stroll up the red carpet and face the most critical question on the planet: “who are you wearing?” This year, for the obvious reasons, most of the glamour will be lost, as the honorees will be streamed from the decidedly less formal setting of Union Station wearing the new “Inspirational and Aspirational” attire dictated by Covid protocol. But while the women nominees will still be dressed in their latest Dior gowns and the men in what can loosely be called “tuxedos,” the relatively low-key affair should spare us the sight of the hideous concoctions worn by Cher, Gwyneth Paltrow and others over the years, not to mention the infamous swan dress sported by Bjork at the 2001 affair.
But over and apart from the pandemic, there is certainly a sea change in the substance of the awards this year. More persons of color have been nominated for the top acting awards than ever, and the prohibitive favorite for Best Picture, Nomadland, whose nominated director, Chloe Zhao, is a 39 year old woman from China, is a portrait of disenfranchised Americans who roam from place to place living in their vans and RVs trying to stay just above water in the marginalized economy. Is this dreary real world the future of film?
With that as background, and mostly for the sake of those of you whose TVs only carry three major networks plus PBS who think Netflix is a fishing technique, I am providing the following handy guide to the Best Picture nominees. At least you will know why the unironically anti-glamour Frances McDormand will probably be wearing her Valentino Birkenstocks as she accepts her Best Actress award.
Nomadland A grim portrait of McDormand as Fern and a cast of actual lost souls, to whom the American Dream is a black and white nightmare, and who create a perverse family that wanders the country taking seasonal work at Amazon warehouses and sugar beet plants. A sequel in which the characters discover the joy of trading cryptocurrencies is purportedly in the works.
The Sound of Metal Riz Ahmed plays a drummer in a heavy metal band who is rapidly losing his hearing but finds a sense of redemption in realizing that silence is far superior to listening to Olivia Cooke scream her head off in the worst musical development since Tom Jones.
The Father Anthony Hopkins is a man sinking into Alzheimer’s as his daughter Olivia Colman wishes she were back in Buckingham Palace as QE2.
The Trial of the Chicago 7 In a case of the present as a prologue to the past, Chicago cops stage a “police riot” and beat up anti-war yippie protestors at the 1968 Democratic convention. In a twist, most of the protesters are white and subsequently stand trial before Judge Julius Hoffman who, as played by Frank Langella, is much less deranged than in real life. Sacha Baron Cohen captures the sardonic wit of Abby Hoffmann to a tee.
Judas and the Black Messiah Daniel Kaluuya portrays Fred Hampton, the head of the Black Panther Party, who, after being dismissed as a defendant from the Chicago 7 trial (see above) is betrayed by a black FBI informant and murdered in a raid by the (guess who?) Chicago police. Lakeith Stanfield plays the informant Bill O’Neal and will battle Kaluuya for Best Supporting Actor.
Minari A Korean family moves to rural Arkansas. Enough said.
Mank Herman Mankiewicz awakes from a continuous drunken stupor just enough to pen the screenplay for Citizen Kane. Or not. Amanda Seyfried is marvelous as Marion Davies, the girlfriend of the real life Kane, William Randolph Hearst, otherwise known as the grandfather of Symbionese Liberation Army darling Patty.
Promising Young Woman In a non-McDormand year, Carey Mulligan would cop the Best Actress award for her clever portrayal of Cassie Thomas, a med school dropout determined to avenge her classmate’s humiliating sexual assault by the smug have-it-alls who are even dumber than the average smug have-it-alls in real life. Think Brett Kavanaugh.
Well, there you have it. You can tune in. Or not. In either case, you can look forward to when you can actually argue about the results the next day at a real water cooler in a real office. And maybe go see the winners in an actual movie theater. But, more likely, you will stream them on a TV as you and your partner struggle to stay awake after a long day of working from home.
