Clear and Present Danger

As the Democrats, led by the brilliant prosecutorial skills of Representative Jamie Raskin of Maryland, conclude their compelling case for impeachment of the 45th president of the United States, Donald J. Trump, for inciting an insurrection to overturn an election, we have to wonder if the inevitable acquittal might have been different if the Dems had chosen a different forum, one more familiar to a reality TV figure such as Mr. Trump, the courtroom of Judge Judy. After all, in such a setting, the result would not have been pre-determined by the utter cowardice of at least 44 Republican Senators, who have been cowed into shameless obsequiousness by the threat of being “primaried” by the president’s base, but by a woman who is unflinchingly blunt in her search for her own version of justice.

It would not be hard to imagine this case being tried before the inimitable Judge Judy, and the following is a transcript of what might have been.

JJ: Mr. Raskin, you claim that the defendant “incited” the rampage on the U.S. Capitol that aimed to overturn the election results. What is your proof?

JR: The president’s own words on the videotape.

DJT: The election was stolen.

JJ: I love the truth. If you don’t tell me the truth, you’re gonna be eating your shoes.

DJT: There is massive evidence of fraud.

JJ: You want to show me something? What?

DJT: Just take the word of the eminent Constitutional Lawyer and America’s Mayor, Rudy Giuliani.

JJ: Don’t try to teach a pig to sing.

DJT: It was rigged.

JJ: Is the word stupid written across my forehead?

DJT: We did win this election. This is a fraud on the American public.

JJ: Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.

DJT: We won this election, and we won it by a landslide.

JJ: If it doesn’t make sense, it’s not true. Mr. Raskin, anything else?

JR: I will let the president’s words speak for themselves.

JJ: The president of the United States is the leader of the free world. We have to be able to, the world has to be able to rely on his or her word to feel that they have a good moral compass.

DJT: If you don’t fight like hell you’re not going to have a country anymore.

JJ: Mr. Trump, you’re fired.

P.S. The quotes are (mostly) real.